Things that fascinate me about sporting events:

1. The reactions people have when they discover themselves on the Jumbo-tron.

2. The amount of alcohol people can consume on weeknights.

3. The fact that adults will scream “you suck” to perfect strangers. This includes players and fans of the opposing team.

4. The phenomena that men can eat and drink for the entire duration of the game and never have to go to the bathroom.

5. There never seems to be a shortage of adults who want to pose with the team mascot.

6. People have the audacity to text during the National Anthem.

7. Regardless of the weather or the individual’s physique, there’s always a hairy shirtless man who yells at the officials.

8. The sheer number of mullets.

9. People who would refuse to consume a hotdog in any other scenario will immediately give in and enjoy one.

10. Tens of thousands of people will cooperate to execute the wave, and then try to kill each to exit the parking garage first.

11. No matter how old I get, who’s playing or what mood I’m in, there’s always something purely exciting about attending a live event.